Were We Used To Be
by xLittleLight
Summary: A bad break up. A new start. But what if the end of what you thought was your happily ever after becomes something more than you ever expected. *I'm using a lot of traumatic things that have happened to me personally in the story.


From nothing; comes something.From anger; comes resolve.From malice; comes forgiveness.

K.E Brown.

Never in my wildest imagination did I see this outcome. Picturing the idea of it in my old mindset makes me almost anxious.

There is a man in my bed. Sleeping. I am sitting up, legs crossed. He's laying on his stomach with his arm laying affectionately in my lap. I lean to my left, grab my cigarettes, lighter and ashtray. The sound of the lighter and a deep inhale is the only noise heard for a moment. Smoke billowing above my head.

Why do you love me so much? I'm….

Self doubt fills my thoughts as I look down on this near perfect man. I then look at myself in the mirror across from my bed on my desk. I'm plus size. Fat, even. 5'3", 280lbs. But here he is. Smiling in his sleep. And here I am doubting the sincerity of the lines made in his cheeks as he does so. But then his hand starts to rub my thigh affectionately. He almost hums when I look down and say his name.

I hear Optimus, my Greyhound Rhodesian mix nudge the doorknob on the outside. Looking down at the man in my bed for a reaction.

"It's his bed too. Let 'em in" he says.

Now if I had known a few months ago, this would be my 8pm on a Monday night. I'd laugh at you. Loudly.

I get up, naked and but still ashamed of my body in front of him. I walk the distance from my bed to my bedroom door. Opening the door I am greeted happily by my 80lb Optimoose. His tan fur clashing with the darkness in the living room. He bounds past me and to the bed. Curling up immediately to the man in my bed. The man shifts his weight more to one side giving my dog room to cuddle. The smile on my face looking borderline hysterical. I'd lost so much.

In the beginning of it all. I forgot what my laugh sounded like. What my type sense of humor was. Who the actual fuck I was.

"Come back to bed, sweetheart."

"Y-yeah. Of course."

1 Year Ago

"I can't do this back and forth anymore. Do you want to fight for me?" I yelled.

He stared at me blankly. I knew the answer before it even came out of his mouth. But.. Maybe he wouldn't say it. 4 years is a long time to throw away for a piece of ass. Especially in our relationship dynamic. Polyamorous people didn't choose one or the other. It was fairly; both partners. But the day he moved a new girl in. And from the first night I slept alone. I knew.

"No. I don't" he said. So calmly. I think in hindsight that's what hurt the most. Mentally he had already packed my things and moved me out years before this argument. At least that's what he would tell people a week or so from now when he tried to justify this.

"Donnie… I- but our kids. My babies" of course the first thing I'm concerned with is the animals. Because to be fair. I was already gone too.

The sadder side to all of it was that I was comfortable with him. Only I knew how to handle his narcissism for prolonged periods of time. And only he knew how to handle my mood swings.

But here we were. Leanne the new girlfriend he moved in standing at the top of the porch stairs like a vulture. Her claws so far into him. I truly didn't recognize the man he became in only a few days.

"All you care about are those fucking dogs. Maybe if you had started to care about me a couple of years ago. We wouldn't be here."

Mentally I shrug. Donnie wasn't wrong. But he wasn't going about it in the right manner either.

None of this was right.

"Listen. Katherine.-" he sighed. Placing his fingers at the bridge of his nose.

"Leanne and I discussed this all already. You and I are taking a break. You need to work on yourself. You need to get a job and support yourself. My buddy Alcide is looking for a part time laborer. Maybe he will hire you. I don't know how he feels about mix breeds"-

My fiance of 4 years. Just called me a. Mixed. Breed. Can you… now this is where my anger tried to hilt. But I kept it cool. I went into survival mode. If I keep my mouth shut. Things shouldn't get unbearable.

-" don't know how he feels about mix breeds. Especially someone who is Were and Fae. But you can live here until you can get on your feet. If you need stuff until you get a paycheck. I'll see what I can do. But don't expect much. You know she just got here, and she doesn't have anything either. But I want to make her a priority."

He just, he doesn't even look like himself. I'm thinking back to all the smiles, and warmness that I used to see in this man. A low wimper escapes my lips. I feel so betrayed. This morning he told me he loved me. That I looked cute with a new way I did my hair. Normal us. But again; hindsight is always 20/20. This whole scenario had been shifting and morphing behind the scenes for months. He had been miserable with me, because he got comfortable. But the smell of this new …. Bitch. Her scent bothered me. Entitlement. Pride. Greed. Hunger. Things my spouse couldn't smell because he was human. Granted most of his friends are Supe's. But half breed comment hung in the air. That made me question how he had really been feeling about my genetics.

Leanne stood in the same position through all of this. Arms crossed, smiling. She took my spot as lady of the house in less than half a week. He and I moved in here together, but by right's because it was his money that purchased it. He could tell me to leave at any moment. And with this whole conversation, that's what he's saying. Leave.

"We will help you get a job."

Mind you, he always told me that he would rather I stayed at home. Be a housewife and tend to things like laundry and dinner.

"We want to help you stand on your own two feet. But you need to get working, get your own money."

But just this morning, my two feet; stood next to yours. Now it's on your own. Okay. I can do this. But this is still the largest shock. My tears had finally dried. As I looked through the chain link fence to the backyard at our four dogs. Tails wagging, tongue out from play. But my girl; Mara was whining in my direction. She always had a way of knowing. Knowing my moods, my feelings. One of the many reasons I loved being part Werewolf. My father's genetics allowed me to form a pack bond with my dogs. And right now, after this gut wrenching moment. I needed my pack.

"Katherine, are you even giving shit about anything I'm saying?"

Looking at him, in his sky blue eyes for the first time since this argument started. I truly speak.

"You want me to get a job, work on myself, and we are done. I heard you, very clearly. 4 years, Donnie. This whole job thing just started last week, bills had not changed nor had they increased. You were the one that said you always wanted me to stay home. Many times. If my working was an issue, and from the repetativness of this; I'll say it was, than you shouldn't have asked me to stay home. I told you I would happily work. That I always wanted something to do. But you told me point blank; there was plenty to do around here."

I take a moment to gather my thoughts; I could feel the growl at the back of my throat about to emerge. I needed to take a breath before I scared the new bitch. I still wanted to maintain a good even pace with her. Even if I don't like this, we all still need to live together for the foreseeable future. Breathe.

"I will do what I can with what I know how to do. Okay? I will move out of our bedroom. Can I atleast pick which ones of the rooms that I get? And now will the dogs be allowed in my bedroom?"

It's like everything I just said hurt feelings he forgot he had.

"All you care about are the fucking dogs. Fine. I never said you had to move out of our room immediately. But the only thing I ask is that if you become one of those fangbangers; that you don't bring the dead around here. I don't give a fuck if you have to work with them. Or even if you hang out with them on your own terms. But I ain't letting no dead fuck in my house."

I can feel the pride flowing off of Leanne at this point. Ah, there it is.

She's racist against Supe's. I'm a fucking hybrid. This isn't personal. Well I'll realize that months from now. But Donnie has a way of… trying to fit in with people. It's not even always how he feels. But if he meets someone and they have the right conviction or a hobby, he'll follow. Why do you think we became poly? Never a thought of his own. But that doesn't change how trying to impress his new girlfriend; will eventually cost me everything I love.

Later on that afternoon; they went out for a while. To 'let me think about everything'. I ended up using the time to call my bestfriend over to help me move all of my personal belongings into the spare room that had the best flow for the air conditioning. I then took the last little bit of money that was in our savings that I had put in there and bought myself things that I would need for the foreseeable future. Dog food, new bedding, toiletries, two cartons of cigarettes, and paid a month ahead on my cellphone bill. My mom had gone through enough breakups that ended poorly for me to know how to go into survival mode.

The next couple of days went quietly; I stayed in my new room. My dogs sleeping with me every night. Donnie and Leanne leaving me alone to try and figure things out on my own. I know she wouldn't willingly come to me and try and befriend me. My suspicions of her malice intended racism evermore validated.

Thankfully I called Alcide and I would be starting with him within the week. He had no issue with my genetics. Nor was it even a fucking question.

Again. Reinforcing the racism. Great. It was a small position. Answer phones and track wood shipments for him. Simple. $11/hr to start. Better. 25 hours a week. Lame. But it was a start that I needed.

This is where the twists start.

Where the Steve Newland agenda leaks into what was my fucking home.

TBC;


End file.
